Hey folks! This is in case you’re still dazed by Batman and Superman pummeling each other and haven’t been paying attention to the REAL STORY which is: what is Alan Bissett up to this April?

WELL! It’s a fair old roster.

First off, I’ve written an episode of everyone’s favourite Scottish telly programme (this is actually true – they showed me the viewing figures).

Had a lot of fun doing it. Might do it again. My episode will be screened this June.

Before then, however, I’ll be appearing on The Tuesday Review, hosted by Janice Forsyth, on BBC Radio Scotland, reviewing new STUFF, including PJ Harvey’s new album. That’s this Tues 12th April at 2pm.

On Sat 16th Apr I’m reprising my stand-up show about home-town.

in a one-off event at Callendar House, Falkirk (6.30-8.30pm), as part of the Edinburgh International Book Festival’s Landwords. Also featured is the quicksilver genius of musician Adam Stafford, and a host of brilliant local writers reading from Alight Here: An Anthology of Falkirk Fiction, which I edited. This will be THE MOST FALKIRK NIGHT OF YOUR FREAKIN’ LIFE! Tickets here.

Next up is the Stage to Page night I’m hosting at the Tron theatre on Mon 18th April (6pm) for the Playwrights’ Studio. It involves script-in-hand performances of three new short plays I’ve selected. Should be a really cool night and a great way of seeing new talent coming through. You’ve still even got time to enter a script for it! Tickets here.

Later that week I’ll be in a discussion at the Dust of Everyday Life festival at the CCA in Glasgow on Wed 20th April (2.45pm), organised by the Scottish Mental Health Arts and Film Festival (SMHAFF). With psychiatrist Dr Peter Byrne, I’ll be looking at the life of Pink Floyd’s Syd Barrett

ahead of the play SMHAFF commissioned from me about him, One Thinks of it all as a Dream, which opens in October. There will, however, be a sneak preview of a section of this play performed on the night. Tickets here.

On May 5th, just in case you care, I’ll be voting SNP for my constituency vote – because I trust them more than I trust parties being worked from behind by Westminster’s agenda – and RISE on the list vote

because I want to see a pro-independence socialist party in the Scottish parliament. But you can vote how you like, of course.

All of this could be put in doubt (apart from the voting bit) as I’m about to become a daddy for the first time in the next few weeks, depending on when the wee yin’s mammy goes into labour. So if the event is cancelled at the last minute, you’ll know what happened!

In my head, I’m imagining it’ll be like this….

Whereas, it’ll probably be more like this….

Luckily, however, there will definitely be the return of this sassy lady at the Edinburgh Fringe, this August. That’s right, folks, she’s back…

Stay tuned for details…