Jan 18th (Fri) 8pm @ Counting House, West Nicholson Street, Edinburgh. Reading at Rally & Broad alongside JL Williams and Ryan Van Winkle, plus live music from Andrew Eaton-Lewis (of Swimmer One)’s solo project, Seafieldroad. Tickets £5. Jan 22nd (Tues) 8pm @ Scottish Storytelling Centre, Edinburgh. The Speakeasy, featuring myself, Kevin McMahon, Colin McEwan, Fiona Herbert, Elspeth Murray, Lach, and Gareth Waugh. Sold Out! Jan 23rd (Wed) 7pm @ Oran Mor, Glasgow. Yes Scotland Burns Night Supper. Performers include myself, Liz Lochhead, Karine Polwart and Hardeep Singh Kohli. The Cabinet Secretary for Education and Lifelong Learning Mike Russell MSP will give the evening’s Immortal Memory. Tickets £75 and available here. Jan 25th (Fri) 7.30pm @ The Canon’s Gait, Edinburgh. I’ll be speaking on the life and legacy of Robert Burns and there will be comedy from Keir McAllister and music from Gallo Rojo. Tickets are £10/£6 and available here. Jan 28th (Mon) 7pm @ Dram, Glasgow. For Glasgow University Literary Society.
For what’s left of 2012, I’ll be performing on the following dates:
November 29th (Thurs) 6.30pm @ Port Glasgow Library. Readings and Q&A alongside Doug Johnstone and Kirstin Innes at An Evening with Cargo Publishing – part of Book Week Scotland. Tickets are available free at any Inverclyde Library. December 1st (Sat) 3.30pm @ Mitchell Library, Glasgow. Writing Masterclass as part of the Book Week Scotland Pop Up Festival. Book here. December 2nd (Sun) 2pm @ Mearns Library, Glasgow. Book Week Scotland’s Sunday Showtime – reading from Pack Men. Book free by phoning 0141 577 4979 December 22nd (Sat) 7pm @ The Queen’s Hall, Edinburgh. Christmas Songwriter’s Club alongside Adam Stafford, Jesus, Baby!, The Machine Room, Teencanteen, Withered Hand, Neu! Reekie!, We See Lights, Very Well, Eagleowl, Stanley Odd, John D. McIntosh and Easy Tigers. Book here.
A little update of where I’m going to be over the next few months.
October 20th (Sat) 8:30pm @ SWG3, Glasgow. Reading as part of Mao Disney Arts Club pt II, also featuring Silk Cut, Powder Blue and Fielding Hope. Book here. October 21st (Sun) 3pm @ The LICA Building, Lancaster University. In conversation with Rodge Glass, as part of the Lancaster Litfest. Book here. October 22nd (Mon) 6.30pm @ Dram, Glasgow. For Glasgow University Literary Society. October 24th (Wed) 7.30pm @ Bathgate Regal Community Theatre. Performing The Red Hourglass. Book here. October 25th (Thurs) 1.30pm @ Bonar Hall, University of Dundee campus. What’s the point of Literary prizes? In conversation with Aly Barr and Mark Buckland. Book here. October 26th (Fri) 8pm @ Eden Court, Inverness. Performing The Red Hourglass. Book here. October 27th (Sat) 7pm @ Out of the Blue Drill Hall, Edinburgh. Performing The Red Hourglass. Book here. October 29th (Mon) 7pm @ Old Parish Church, Falkirk. Yes Scotland public meeting. RSVP here. November 3rd (Sat) 11.45am @ The Ceilidh Place, Ullapool. Anger as a legitimate response to political and historical injustice, part of Changin Scotland. For bookings, tickets and accomodation, please phone The Ceilidh Place reception on 01854-612103, citing ‘Changin Scotland’. November 13th (Tues) 7.30pm @The Arches, Glasgow. Performing The Red Hourglass. Book here. November 14th (Wed) 7.30pm @The Arches, Glasgow. Performing The Red Hourglass. Book here. November 16th (Fri) 7.30pm @ Harbour Arts Centre, Irvine. Performing The Red Hourglass. Book here. November 17th (Sat) 7.30pm @ Burns Monument Centre, Kilmarnock. As part of the Imprint Book Festival. Book here. November 29th (Thurs) @ Port Glasgow Library, Glasgow. An Evening with Cargo Publishing. Details TBC.
My new solo show, The Red Hourglass, in which I play several species of spider, had a very successful run at the Edinburgh Fringe, and is now ready to go on its Scottish tour. Come along and see it. Here’s where it’s stopping off:
FALKIRK Wed 19th Sept, 7.30pm – Falkirk Town Hall, book here
BANCHORY Thurs 20th Sept, 7.30pm – Woodend Barn,, book here
ST ANDREWS Wed 3rd-Sat 6th Oct, 8pm, Byre Theatre, book here
BATHGATE Wed 24th Oct, 7.30pm – Regal Theatre, book here
INVERNESS Fri 26th Oct, 8pm – Eden Court, book here
EDINBURGH Sat 27th Oct, 7pm – Out of the Blue Drill Hall, Radical Book Fair, here
GLASGOW Tues 13th-Wed 14th Nov, 7.30pm – The Arches, book tickets here
IRVINE Fri 16th Nov, Harbour Arts, book tickets on 01294 274059
The Bruce meets the Spider
And, in case you’re wondering why you should bother, here are some of the reviews from the Edinburgh Fringe run:
‘Highly entertaining…Bissett’s witty, well-observed writing combines well with his bold, shape-changing performance…A delightfully unusual piece of theatre.’ – Mark Brown, The Herald
‘Bissett is a terrific performer, capable of terrifying, high-speed transitions..[has] wit, sharp political intelligence, and an ability to entertain his growing army of fans.’ – Joyce McMillan, The Scotsman
**** 4 Stars ‘Who knew it could be so enjoyable to spend an evening trapped in a room with a gang of man-sized spiders? A real Fringe gem.’ Alice Jones, The Independent
***** 5 stars‘Long awaited, after the smash-hit success of The Moira Monologues, Alan Bissett’s new drama, is an equally hilarious series of monologues all played by Bissett himself, but this time with a political edge.’ The Skinny
***** 5 Stars‘As in the critically lauded Moira Monologues, Bissett’s a joy to watch as a solo actor, skilfully giving life to each character through versatility of voice and mannerisms.’ Edinburgh Fest Magazine
***** 5 Stars‘Excellently written and performed, this is definitely a work that holds you in its web — and a worthy successor to Bissett’s previous hit, The Moira Monologues’Broadway Baby
***** 5 Stars ‘Whip-smart, distinctly Scottish humour…Bissett’s a joy to watch.’ Fest Magazine
***** 5 Stars ‘A playful, instantly engaging presence…this is sophisticated, completely captivating theatre.’ 3 weeks
**** 4 Stars‘Unique, intelligent, funny and inventive piece of adult theatre… Bissett has become a spiderman (and woman) that may not swing from high buildings with his web but who spins a rare tale and knocks Peter Parker in to a wee tin hat.’ The Edinburgh Guide
Well, it’s almost time for me to become several species of spider, in my new solo Edinburgh Fringe show, The Red Hourglass, running at the National Library of Scotland from 15th-25th Aug. It’s great, you’ll like it. Sexy, scary and funny. Directed by The Moira Monlogues collaborator, Sacha Kyle. And you can buy tickets for it here.
First of all, my novel Pack Men has been shortlisted for Scotland’s largest literary prize, the Scottish Mortgage Investment Trust Book Awards 2012, in the Fiction category. I’m delighted, obviously, although it’s up against stiff opposition in the form of Jane Harris, Zoe Strachan, Ali Smith and J.M.Ledgerd, so I’m not expecting to win. Still, it’s nice, isn’t it?
The paperback of Pack Men is released later this month, and is garlanded with lovely review quotes, which I’m not going to repeat her cos I’d look like a knob (BUT THEY’RE AMAZING!!!!) so please do make a Falkirk boy very happy and pick up a copy. It’s a pacy read. You’ll get through it a night. You’ll get through it in a bath (although you may have to keep topping it up with hot water).
I’ll be bringing my new solo show, The Red Hourglassto the Edinburgh Fringe this August (more details later) but before then, here’s where you can catch me, like, LIVE and IN THE FLESH!
13th May, 12pm, Talk with Owen Jones, HighTide Festival, Suffolk.
May 24th, 7pm, Behind the Wall, Falkirk. I’ll be appearing with the awesome Dickson Telfer, as well as he and my brother Ronnie’s excellent band, Artisan.
May 26th, 12.30pm, Dumfries and Galloway Literary Festival,Fleet.
June 1st, 7.30pm, Cafe Su Casa, Ayr. Burns n’ aw That Festival.
Okay persons out there, just to keep you updated with what’s happening in Bissettland (nice to visit, btw, but you wouldn’t want to live there). Writing-wise, I’m working on the screenplay to my first novel, Boyracers, and have scripted a pilot episode of The Moira Monologues for the BBC. I’m optimistic about both of these things being shot.
The performing itch has come back though, resulting in my first new show since Moira. The Red Hourglass finds me playing five different parts: three male, two female, none of them human. There’s going to be an Edinburgh Fringe run in the summer, but in the meantime I’ll be doing a scripted reading for the National Theatre of Scotland’s Reveal season at the Citizens Theatre, Glasgow, on May 2nd-3rd. Come along if you can’t wait til August. You may see one of these:
Secondly, I’ll be appearing every day at 1pm in Dear Glasgow as part of Oran Mor’s A Play, A Pie and a Pint series, from Mon Apr 23rd to Sat 28th. The play will comprise of letters delivered to the Scottish people from the Arab world, and promises to be powerful.
And for those of you who are writers, I’ll be discussing my creative process at the CCA (Sauchiehall St, Glasgow) for the Scottish Writers’ Centre in a free event at 7pm on Thurs Apr 12th.
Finally, on Thurs Apr 19th, I’ll be hosting two of China’s most famous writers, Xu Zechen and Annie Baobei, ‘in conversation’ at the Confucius Institute for Scotland, in Edinburgh at 6pm. Read all about it here.
Oh, and, while I’m here. Support Scottish independence. Here’s why I’m backing it.
Here’s where I’m going to be saying things in public. Readings, politics, and the like. Come along and heckle.
Jan 27th (Fri) 7pm @ HarbourArts Centre, Irvine. Reading from novels. Jan 30th (Mon) 8pm @ The Dram, Woodlands Rd, Glasgow, for Glasgow Uni Lit Soc. Feb 11th (Sat) 7.30pm @ The Berkley Suites, Charing Cross, Glasgow, for ‘Frames Per Second’ as part of Glasgow Short Film Festival. Adam Stafford and I will be performing a live version of our award-winning short film, ‘The Shutdown’. 15th Feb (Wed) 6pm @ 32 University Avenue, Glasgow Uni. Talk on ‘Scotland, Politics & Culture’. 21st Feb (Tues) 9pm @ The Ubiquitous Chip, Ashton Lane, Glasgow. Reading from novels. 22nd Feb (Wed) time tbc @ The Stand Comedy Club, Glasgow, for SNP Youth Comedy Night. 26th Feb (Sun) 6pm @ Oran Mor, as part of cast of Alasdair Gray’s play ‘Fleck’, for Margins Book Festival. 10th March (Sat) 5pm @ Mitchell Library, Glasgow, delivering keynote address w/Zoe Strachan & Ewan Morrison for ‘Write Now’ conference as part of Aye Write! festival. 10th March (Sat) 7.30pm @ Reading Room, Blairlogie, for launch of Dickson Telfer’s book ‘Killing a Spider’. 11th March (Sun) 3.30pm, Mitchell Library, Glasgow, as part of Aye Write! festival. Talk on ‘Football & Sectarianism’ w/ Rodge Glass and Richard Wilson.
Vote with your love for the Queen who nurtured you, cradle to grave,
Who protects you and cares, her most darling subjects, to whom you gave
the glens she adores to roam freely through, the stags her children so dearly enjoy killing.
First into battle, loyal and true. The enemy’s scared of you.
That’s why we send you over the top with your och-aye-the-noo Mactivish there’s been a murrrderrr jings! crivvens! Deepfriedfuckinmarsbar wee wee dram of whisky hoots mon there’s a moose loose aboot this smackaddict
Vote Labour. New Labour. Old Labour. Scottish Labour.
(Get back in line, Scottish Labour, HQ in Solihull will issue their commands shortly,
Just keep the vote coming in from up there thanks goodbye,
Subsidy junkie).
Vote for any argument you construct in your defence being ‘anti-English’.
Vote for Scots who make their career in Scotland being ‘unambitious’.
Vote for enjoying your own culture being soooooooo parochial.
Vote God Save the Queen and that bit about us crushing you all.
Hush. There there.
Vote for Scotland being refered to as a ‘region’, like, say, Yorkshire? Or East Anglia?
Vote for our voices dominating your media, but in no way telling you what to think.
Take a drink. Go on, son, take a drink.
Vote for oil revenue, which we ensure flows directly from us into you.
Vote for being told you’re the only country in the world that could not possibly survive and that without us you’d fall to pieces like children abandoned in the wild, caked in faeces.
Vote Daily Mail and Rupert Murdoch and
illegalimmigrantskilledPrincessDiana and
London London London most exciting city in the world darling
(Glasgow is a very violent place, is it not. Do you have art?)
being on the right side just once and that’s only because it was against yer actual fucking Hitler
Vote for the #ScottishConspiracy at Westminster
(who really runs the show here eh – Blair, Brown – got your own in that time, we aren’t allowed to vote in Holyrood but there’s Archie McPhee pulling wee strings in our parliament when we wouldn’t even think about interfering in how you run your own affairs but while we’re at it, this referendum eh? A so-called referendum, is it? Have it now, make sure it looks like this)
Vote for very, very, very rich people patronising you.
Vote for Glasgow having the highest knife-crime rate and lowest life expectancy in Europe
due to our generosity. You may thank us at your leisure.
Vote for the absence of your history in our schools.
All Brits together.
Vote for our shock at your ingratitude!
Vote for us saying ‘Eh? Eh?’ when you open up your porridge mooth.
Vote for bafflement about why you want the England football team to lose.
We always want the Scots to win (except in referenda).
Vote for psychopathic villains with your accent in a soap opera.
Vote for tuition fees and student loans, ensuring that the brightest of your working-class
(since you still insist upon the term, although Our Leaders had it banned)
will one day rise and take their place in this great land.
Vote for us deploying strategic references to Braveheart to dismiss you all.
Vote for Robert Burns being called by Paxman ‘sentimental doggerel’.
Vote for The Iron Lady. Such a strong leader, gave this country backbone
(you didn’t really want the unions, industries or council homes, just made the place look tatty)
Vote for a deregulated banking class, lionising of the hardworkingwealthgeneratingjobcreatingentrepreneurs
who you will in no way refer to as ‘greedy, selfish bastards’. Give them your taxes.
Vote for foreign wars.
Yes, sadly, some of you will die. But you will return to a hero’s welcome
Jock
the Union Jack, proud symbol of integrity and honour, draped across your coffin
while your mother, dabbing at her eyes, recalls the words she learned in school
in Kircudbright
‘There is some corner of a foreign field that is forever England.’
I was awarded the title Scottish Writer of the Year at the Glenfiddich Spirit of Scotland Awards last night. I was up against amazing writers like Jackie Kay, Denise Mina and Julia Donaldson, so was stunned when Ian Rankin read out my name. Thanks to everyone who voted for me. Man, what a year!
Alan Bissett 