Alan Bissett

Playwright, novelist, performer, bletherer.

MOIRA double-bill tour 2018 – Spring dates

Hiya pals! I’ll be touring my soooo acclaimed ‘one-woman shows’ The Moira Monologues and its award-winning sequel (More) Moira Monologues as a double-bill throughout 2018, but I thought I’d get some of the initial Spring dates up for you in case you’re thinking of treating the loved one/bam in your life to some tickets for Christmas.


Moi as ‘Moira’

Unless otherwise specified, both shows will be on in the same evening.

9th Feb (Fri) – Whitehills Public Hall, Portsoy – (01261) 843006
10th Feb (Sat) – Bettridge Centre, Newtonhill – (01569) 731320
15th Feb (Thurs)  – Macrobert Centre, Stirling. (More) Moira only, plus Q&A.
6th March (Tues) – Edge Hill Arts Centre, Ormskirk.
9th March (Fri) –Town Hall, Falkirk.
11th March (Sun) – Citizens Theatre, Glasgow.
17th March (Sat) – Burgh Hall, Cove
6th April (Fri) – Howden Park, Livingstone. Moira Monologues only.
8th April (Sun) – Arts Centre, Paisley
More dates and venues to be added for Summer and Autumn, so watch this space!

Huge success for (MORE) MOIRA MONOLOGUES at the Edinburgh Fringe! (plus forthcoming live dates)

Well, my latest play (More) Moira Monologues went just about as well as could be expected at the Edinburgh Fringe 2017. Big, loud audiences, a prestigious Fringe First award, and check out some of these goddamn reviews:

“Near-perfect.” – 5***** The Scotsman “A riot.” 5***** The National “Welcome back, Moira. We missed you.” – 5***** Broadway Baby “No wonder Moira has such a loyal following.” – 4**** The List


photo: Stephanie Gibson

Expect a double-bill of Moira 1 & 2 touring in Spring 2018, folks…

Before then, however, I’ve plenty of live dates lined-up, so come along and catch me at one of the following:

2nd Sept: Electric Fields festival (2.20pm) Neu Reekie! Spoken Word tent *ALAN BISSETT: STAND-UP LITERATURE

9th Sept: Outwith Festival, Dunfermline (12.30pm) The Canmore. *ALAN BISSETT: STAND-UP LITERATURE

16th Sept: Nairn Arts & Book Festival, Nairn (9pm) The Little Theatre. *THE MOIRA MONOLOGUES

24th Sept: Falkirk Storytelling Festival, Falkirk (7.30pm) Behind the Wall. *(MORE) MOIRA MONOLOGUES

5th & 7th Oct: The Ching Room, Edinburgh (7.30pm)  Assembly Roxy. A new production from Attune Theatre of my debut play from 2009. I’m not in it, in case you’re wondering.

13th Oct: (Iain) Banks Supper, Paisley (7.30pm) New Street, Paisley. *A TRIBUTE TO IAIN BANKS, which I have curated and am hosting.

16th Nov: Pentlands Book Festival, Edinburgh (7.30pm), Tanners Pub, Juniper Green. *(MORE) MOIRA MONOLOGUES. Tickets free, but donations on the night helpful.

Dates for later in the year to be released in November.

Hopefully see some of yese on the road!





My brand new Edinburgh Fringe show: (MORE) MOIRA MONOLOGUES

I first wrote and performed my ‘one-woman show’ The Moira Monologues in 2009, my comedy about Falkirk’s hardest woman – directed by Sacha Kyle – and since then, against all our expectations, it proved to be my most popular show, and Moira my most enduring character. She’s strutted her stuff onstages across the length and breadth of Scotland and beyond.  Last year I brought her back to the Edinburgh Fringe for a sell-out run, which brought back to me how much I love the character and how well audiences respond to her.

Alan Bissett

But the show is eight years old, and the world’s become a very different place since then. Where is Moira in her life? I wondered. What’s she doing? Who is she doing?  And just what does she make of the post-indyref, post-Brexit, post-Trump situation?

Well, now I know.  Ohhhhhhh, she’s nailed it.

(MORE) MOIRA MONOLOGUES debuts at the Edinburgh Fringe from 2nd-28th August


And no: you don’t have to have seen the original.  I’ve written it in such a way that Moira will still make sense to you if even if you’ve met her before. But there are lost of lovely Easter Eggs for you if you have.


Written and performed by Alan Bissett, directed by Sacha Kyle

7pm (1hr), Scottish Storytelling Centre, High Street, Edinburgh.

2nd-28th August

Buy tickets here or here.

See ya there! x






Moira’s back…and she’s also back!

Some performances upcoming of my original (dare I say ‘classic’) ‘one-woman show’ Moira Monologues, the first in Stirling as part of the Off the Page book festival on May 5th, then three performances as part of the Dumfries and Galloway Arts Festival: at the Catstrand on June 3rd (4pm) in New Galloway, at the Usual Place in Dumfries on June 4th (3pm), and at A’ the Airts in Sanquar also on June 4th (8pm).


These will be the last chances to catch Moira in her first incarnation before the debut of the long-awaited sequel (More) Moira Monologues at the Edinburgh Fringe this year, in the Scottish Storytelling Centre, directed again by my regular collaborator Sacha Kyle. Tickets for it will go onsale in early June. SO EXCITED FOR THIS!


Some other appearances: I’ll be hosting the book launch of the excellent new novel Stronger than Skin from Stephen May on the evening of May 4th at the Golden Hare bookshop in Edinburgh.  On May 9th I’ll be doing a reading in the National Library of Scotland in Edinburgh celebrating ten years of the online magazine From Glasgow to Saturn (7pm). On May 18th I’ll be performing a free event for an hour or so in Inverurie Library, in Aberdeenshire, as part of Mental Health May.

And seeing as we’re warming up to another Scottish independence referendum (they have a mandate, folks) I’ll be giving it some of that “we need to get out of the UK before it sinks beneath the waves and/or the Tories starting sending kids to work back up chimneys” patter in a speech at the Corbie Inn, Bo’ness, near Falkirk on Apr 26th at 7pm for Yes Bo’ness.

That’s enough for yese aw to be gettin on wi the noo.


The Moira Monologues at Pentland Book Festival

I’m on a wee roll! My ‘one-woman show’ The Moira Monologues sold out its run at the Edinburgh Fringe in August, my new play about Pink Floyd, One Thinks of it all as a Dream, has just done the same in Glasgow, Edinburgh and Aberdeen, off the back of excellent reviews, and now, as a nice one-off, I’m bringing Moira back for a night at the Pentlands Book Festival, Edinburgh, on Nov 11th. So if you didn’t manage to catch Moira during her Fringe run, now’s your chance. Tickets available here.

Now look at these lovely flashing stars.


One Thinks of it all as a Dream

Directed by Sacha Kyle

To celebrate their 10th anniversary, the Scottish Mental Health Arts and Film Festival have commissioned me to write a play about the life of former Pink Floyd front-man, Syd Barrett.  Entitled One Thinks of it all as a Dream, this play explores one of the most complex, enigmatic and influential musical figures of the 1960s, who would have been 70 this year had he still been alive.


Euan Cuthbertson as Syd Barrett

Tour dates

17th – 22nd OctOran Mor, Glasgow

25th-29th Oct – Traverse, Edinburgh

1st-5th Nov –  Lemon Tree, Aberdeen

20th OctSyd Barrett: Dreams and Reality.  This will be a very special event at Oran Mor with myself, Syd’s nephew Ian Barrett and the music journalists Nicola Meighan and John Cavanagh in discussion about Barrett’s life.

The play has the blessing of the remaining members of Pink Floyd, who graciously granted us permission to use their music.  It stars Euan Cuthbertson as Syd Barrett, Andrew John Tait as Roger Waters, Ewan Petrie as Richard Wright and David James Kirkwood as Nick Mason.

Here’s an interview I conducted with The List magazine about Syd Barrett.

The Moira Monologues…return!

Tickets are NOW ONSALE for the sensational comeback of my classic ‘one-woman show’ THE MOIRA MONOLOGUES at the Edinburgh Fringe. Here’s an interview in The National about the play. You’ll honestly freakin love it. x


Moira Bell – single mum, cleaner, hardest woman in Falkirk, and the alter ego of writer/performer Alan Bissett – is back at the Fringe for a limited run after six years’ absence. Don’t miss her!

‘It’s a – sometimes scary – pleasure to spend an evening in Moira’s company.’ **** (Independent)

‘One of the most charismatic characters to appear in Scottish theatre this decade. This is brilliant stuff… the audience were literally shouting with laughter.’ **** (Joyce McMillan, The Scotsman)

“Moira Bell is a legend.” ****The Skinny

‘Fiercely funny… rivals any stand-up the Fringe has to offer.’ **** (

Directed by Sacha Kyle.

Pulling out – the baby’s here!

Hi Folks,

Sorry to tell you that I’ve had to pull out of all events in the coming week, as our first baby has decided to come two weeks early! I hope this isn’t too disappointing for anyone who has a ticket to come along to anything. As it happens, all these events will still go ahead and I’ll be replaced by other people who are probably better than me…

At the ‘Falkirk Voices’ event at Callendar House this Saturday 16th – as  part of the LandWords festival – the local authors will read as programmed, hosted by Dickson Telfer, but the second half – My performance of What the F**kirk – will be replaced by a special gig from Scottish Album of the Year shortlistee Adam Stafford. He’s amazing, you’ll love him. We’ll also hopefully still be showing some of the filmed extracts of What the F**kirk, so you can get a flavour of it.

For the Stage to Page event at the Tron on Monday 18th I’ll be replaced by Fiona Sturgeon Shea of the Playwrights Studio, who will host and present three performances of playscripts that I have selected from the entries, and discuss them in my absence.

At the Syd Barrett discussion on Wed 20th, for the Dust of Everyday Life festival at the CCA, the panelist will instead by John Cavanagh, who has written a book analysing Pink Floyd’s debut album

So don’t worry, peeps, you’ll still get a big night oot!  Apologies for pulling out, but it’s a very good reason eh.




April Showers

Hey folks! This is in case you’re still dazed by Batman and Superman pummeling each other and haven’t been paying attention to the REAL STORY which is: what is Alan Bissett up to this April?

WELL! It’s a fair old roster.

First off, I’ve written an episode of everyone’s favourite Scottish telly programme (this is actually true – they showed me the viewing figures).


Had a lot of fun doing it. Might do it again. My episode will be screened this June.

Before then, however, I’ll be appearing on The Tuesday Review, hosted by Janice Forsyth, on BBC Radio Scotland, reviewing new STUFF, including PJ Harvey’s new album. That’s this Tues 12th April at 2pm.

On Sat 16th Apr I’m reprising my stand-up show about home-town.

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in a one-off event at Callendar House, Falkirk (6.30-8.30pm), as part of the Edinburgh International Book Festival’s Landwords. Also featured is the quicksilver genius of musician Adam Stafford, and a host of brilliant local writers reading from Alight Here: An Anthology of Falkirk Fiction, which I edited. This will be THE MOST FALKIRK NIGHT OF YOUR FREAKIN’ LIFE! Tickets here.

Next up is the Stage to Page night I’m hosting at the Tron theatre on Mon 18th April (6pm) for the Playwrights’ Studio. It involves script-in-hand performances of three new short plays I’ve selected. Should be a really cool night and a great way of seeing new talent coming through. You’ve still even got time to enter a script for it! Tickets here.

Later that week I’ll be in a discussion at the Dust of Everyday Life festival at the CCA in Glasgow on Wed 20th April (2.45pm), organised by the Scottish Mental Health Arts and Film Festival (SMHAFF). With psychiatrist Dr Peter Byrne, I’ll be looking at the life of Pink Floyd’s Syd Barrett


ahead of the play SMHAFF commissioned from me about him, One Thinks of it all as a Dream, which opens in October. There will, however, be a sneak preview of a section of this play performed on the night. Tickets here.

On May 5th, just in case you care, I’ll be voting SNP for my constituency vote – because I trust them more than I trust parties being worked from behind by Westminster’s agenda – and RISE on the list vote


because I want to see a pro-independence socialist party in the Scottish parliament. But you can vote how you like, of course.

All of this could be put in doubt (apart from the voting bit) as I’m about to become a daddy for the first time in the next few weeks, depending on when the wee yin’s mammy goes into labour. So if the event is cancelled at the last minute, you’ll know what happened!

In my head, I’m imagining it’ll be like this….


Whereas, it’ll probably be more like this….


Luckily, however, there will definitely be the return of this sassy lady at the Edinburgh Fringe, this August. That’s right, folks, she’s back…


Stay tuned for details…

Moira is back for 2016

Happy new year, all!

This year I’m bringing back what’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done in my entire career: my ‘one-woman show’, The Moira Monologues. You will love it. I’m, like, 98.8% sure.

(covering my back with that 1.2%)


performing as Moira in 2010, photo by Neil Thomas Douglas

14th Jan (Thurs) – I’ll be at the Drouthy Cobbler in Elgin . Tickets are available here. Cracking atmosphere in the Cobbler. I took my show Ban This Filth! there two years ago and it was easily the best night of the tour.

11th March (Fri) – Moira will be at the Tron theatre for the Glasgow Comedy Festival. It’s her first Glasgow appearance for five years. Should be a big wan. Tickets available here.

‘Moira is Scotland’s newest stage superstar.’ – The List

‘Moira’s the most charismatic character on a Scottish stage in a decade. She’s also so funny that some in the audience were literally shouting with laughter.’ (**** Joyce McMillan – The Scotsman)

‘Bissett writes with eagle-eyed vim.  His Moira lurches from a foul-mouthed Rottweiler who could give Malcolm Tucker a run for his money to maudlin softie in the time it takes to smoke a fag.’ (Alice Jones – The Independent)

See yese there!