So this was probably the biggest year of many of our lives, but it was definitely the biggest of mine. Here’s the rundown of what has been an exhausting 2014.

FEBRUARY – I run for Rector of Glasgow University, in an election which is won by the little-known Edward Snowden.  I also sell the Big Issue for a day as part of the Big Sell-Off, helping the homeless.

MARCH – I’m interviewed by Janet Street-Porter for her BBC documentary about the referendum.

APRIL – My one-man show about pornography and radical feminism, Ban This Filth!, directed by Sacha Kyle, is performed at the Arches’ Behaviour festival, Glasgow, and tours the Highlands. I also preview an extract from my forthcoming Edinburgh Fringe play, The Pure the Dead and the Brilliant, at the SNP conference in Aberdeen, which kicks off a month-long beasting from a rabidly pro-Union press, including this gem.

MAY – My new play, Jock: Scotland on Trial, about Scotland’s colonial past, debuts at Mayfesto in the Tron theatre. Directed by Cheryl Martin and starring myself and the Tron’s Andy Arnold.

JUNE – Another new play, Jacquoranda, directed by Kenny Miller, has its debut run in Perthshire. Louise McCarthy nails it – drunkenly – in the title role.

JULY – Born Under a Union Flag: Rangers, Britain and Scottish Independence, a collection of essays edited by myself and Alasdair McKillop, is published by Luath Press.  I take part in National Collective’s tour of Scotland, Yestival, and have a new poem published in their Inspired by Independence anthology.  Also, I tour Slovakia, Poland and the Czech Republic for the Authors’ Reading Month festival.

AUGUST – Yet another new play, about the referendum this time.  The Pure, the Dead and the Brilliant stars Elaine C Smith and Paul James Corrigan, is directed by Sacha Kyle, and is entirely crowdfunded from Yes supporters.  It sells out 24 days in the Assembly Rooms at the Edinburgh Fringe.

SEPTEMBER – I perform Jock: Scotland on Trial for four nights at the Finborough Theatre, London.  Later that month, Scotland cuts the wrong wire. But it’s okay. It now realises its mistake.

OCTOBER – I preview an extract of my work-in-progress, Souness, directed by Sacha Kyle, with myself in the title role, at the Tron theatre, Glasgow. This play will be produced in 2016, thirty years since Graeme Souness joined Rangers as player-manager.

NOVEMBER – Four of my spooky stories are broadcast on BBC Radio Scotland.

DECEMBER – And rest.

COMING UP

FEBRUARY – Release of my Collected Plays, published by Freight.

I’m also working on a new novel, two new plays, including Souness, and a documentary film about the referendum.